Catching up!!!

It has been a long time since I have been able to write my feeling down, and so much has happened. The girls are growing so fast. It is so unfair. My heartaches that they don't have a dad who gets to share these great experience's in life with them. He is missing out on so much. But we do have together. Saturday nights the girls and I take for ourselves. No friends, just us. We put rollers in our hair watch a fun movie. Pain nails, you know the fun girl stuff. :) It is so much fun it is our time to detox from the hectic week and get ready for church on Sunday. The girls like it a lot and I have notice a tremendous change in their attitudes throughout the week when we take time out for each other. Although bed time has gotten a lot more hectic. I have the girls in the same room and now that KayteLynn is getting older she thinks that it is play time. So I usually end up separating them about an hour after bed time. They always make me laugh though, Kate has no clue she is in trouble when I walk in that room she just starts laughing and telling me to watch her new trick!!!! So silly!!!

They are my world, and I love them with all my heart. I just wish I could give them more. As for me despite the comfort of my girls, I am lonely. I long for a friend, for companionship, but there doesn't seem to be anyone out there. It is heartbreaking to me. Mostly because the only ones I seem to attract are the jerks. The ones who don't care. And the few that I have found that have this great love and admiration for the Lord and his work seem to be too busy, or not interested.

But despite my broken heart I know the Lord is teaching me something I just wish I could get it so that i can move on to the next. I am way too hard headed and think I already know it all. Although something while at church yesterday I did realize as I watched bishops wife with her new baby and other four kids on the bench. That I had better not complain about sitting a lone with my children, because just because you h ave a spouse in the Lord church does not mean he will always be there. and I never want to be a hindrance to my spouse and his calling because I cant handle doing it alone. If only my lesson were that easy to figure out though!!! Oh well!!!

I know that my trials are nothing compared to most and I feel so selfish complaining because I know so many other woman and men who feel the same way. That their trials are so much greater than mine. I know that I need to be patient and understanding. That is my goal, and I hope that anyone who does read this dose not take it as complaining, this blog is my venting blog, my emotions and feelings as they come out of my head onto this page.

Have a great day!!!
April Annie